If you’re looking for advice on how to get over him then you must be in a terrible place right now. Your relationship just ended and you feel heartbroken. You want to make the pain go away but you don’t know what to do to make it all stop. I understand what you’re going through and I know just how much it sucks. I’ve spent the past 5 years helping women get over their ex boyfriend and I discovered 5 mistakes that prevent most women from getting over a guy they really like.
5 Mistakes Keeping You from Getting Over Him
1) Staying Stuck in the Past
You break up with your ex and the next thing you know, you’re going through all your old photos, listening to “your” songs, and reading old love letters. We all do it and in the initial stages of a break up, it’s normal and expected. I allow myself a set amount of time at each “pity session” and once it’s over I take a walk or call a friend. It may take several sessions but giving myself permission to grieve feels good and knowing that I have to snap out of it in an hour helps me avoid getting depressed.
However, if you don’t move past this stage you will be miserable and miserable to be around. Don’t be the woman on the first date who spends the entire evening talking about her ex. Avoid making comparisons between your ex-boyfriend and every guy you meet. It’s a fine line between healthy nostalgia and wallowing. If you’re not sure if you’ve crossed the line, ask a trusted friend or family member. Just be ready to hear the truth.
2. Staying So Busy That You Can’t Think
After a break-up your friends and family are going to want to take your mind off your heartache. They’ll tell you to “get back on the horse” or that “there are plenty of fish in the sea”. While it’s a good idea to remain active so you don’t fall into a debilitating depression, remember that you have to feel your emotions. Keeping them bottled up can lead to an uncomfortable release in the future when you think you’ve already moved on.
3. Letting Others Affect You Negatively
We all have people in our lives who are less than supportive. They seem to enjoy drama and unhappiness. If possible, sever ties with them. If it’s not possible, then at the very least, don’t allow them into your inner circle! You control how you respond to them so keep them at arm’s length. If they are intrigued by your situation (and you know they are) don ‘t be tempted to use them as a sounding board. Make it clear that you don’t want to talk about your break-up or just respond as if everything is just fine. Eventually, they’ll grow tired of your silence and will move on to another victim.
4. Keeping Tabs On Your Ex-Boyfriend
This is big problem in the age of social media. It seems everyone is on Facebook and Twitter and it can be very tempting to visit your ex’s site to see what he’s doing. Don’t go there! Believe me, you don’t want to see pictures of your ex-boyfriend with another woman. You don’t want to read the inevitable status update that informs the world you are no longer together. It isn’t healthy and borders on stalking.
This also applies to driving by his home, work or hangouts. Make sure to tell your well-meaning friends that you don’t want to see those cell phone pictures or videos they took of him at a party and steer the conversation to another topic.
5. Not Getting Help to Get Over Him
This is the greatest mistake of all. There comes a time when you are stuck in one of the stages of grief and can’t seem to move forward. If your emotions are crippling you and interfering with your life, then you need help. Try talking to someone you trust and see if you can work through your emotional turmoil with their support. Almost everyone has gone through a bad break-up and listening to their challenges and how they overcome them can be beneficial. If this still doesn’t help, you may need to see someone who can help you get a handle on your emotions so you can get on with your life.
Figuring out how to get over him can be difficult but it’s definitely not impossible; with the right attitude and support, you can definitely get over him and see this as a great learning experience that helped you bounce back even stronger than before.
If you’re feeling confused or frustrated about something that happened between you and your ex, click below to get my advice on how to get over him based on your situation